The Art of Ignoring March 22, 2008

I often get the question, “when is it okay to ignore my child?”  Let’s get one thing clear:  it is never okay to ignore your child….however, it is okay to ignore their behaviors.

That being said, ignoring certain behaviors a child may exhibit, such as:  yelling, screaming, name-calling or whining may help eradicate the behaviors you are trying to ignore.

Children often exhibit certain behaviors because they are trying to get attention or get what they want.  Children learn through time what buttons to push in their parents and will undoubtedly push them when it suits their needs.  When these phenomena are happening, it is important to ignore these behaviors and to give your child the message that you are doing so.  For example, “Steven, as long as you are throwing a tantrum, I am not going to talk to you.”  A simple statement that sends the message that you, as a parent, are not going to respond to certain behaviors and will not respond until a more suitable behavior is being displayed. 

 As soon as parents start to employ this technique, often children will act up even more.  They think by raising the ante, you will soon pay attention to what they want.  After a consistent message by you, however, they will most often back down and it will be easier to teach them more appropriate ways of handling their emotions.