I had a conversation with a friend the other day as we were out for dinner without her children and spouse. As she arrived at the restaurant, she emphatically exclaimed, “I’m so glad my husband agreed to watch the kids.” What?! Say that again? You have to ask your husband to watch children he is the parent of, helped create, and is therefore partly responsible for because their parent?
Okay, I recognize that not all marriages are matches made in heaven. I also understand that some individuals have a traditional view on motherhood and a wife’s role in raising children. There is nothing wrong with this viewpoint and there are many successful marriages that are, in a sense, traditional.
I guess what I have a larger issue with, is women who delegate their husband to the role of babysitter because they believe that, as the mom, they inherently do everything better and the right way. Don’ t get me wrong….moms are special and usually do “make it all better” – but can’t dads have the opportunity to be in that role at times, too?
When parents take on too much of a parenting role and disallow the other parent to partake in day to day activities such as caretaking, discipline and play, they are essentially allowing the other parent to become the “Disneyland” parent and not letting a stronger bond form between that parent and child. It’s okay that children learn there are different ways to cut a sandwich and to have days when the routine gets a little off kilter. This teaches children understanding of differences and most importantly, flexibility.
I know one woman who goes as far as correcting her husband’s parenting in front of the children. This is a wonderful way of letting your children know where you disagree as parents so they can manipulate the two of you later to get what they want.
Moms – allow dads to be dads. They may not do things the same. They may not do it with the same grace with just that right touch. Yet Dads are special in their own right and children need the same interaction with them as they do with you.
